What Does Death Advise?
Anyone who has given even a thought to their development knows well that a Magus always lives with death ever present death.
However, the fear of nonexistence is so great and so deeply rooted that even an advanced consciousness usually avoids an open look at this problem.
Extensive conversations arise about reincarnation, about life after death, “Purgatory” and worlds of retribution, but all this is often merely a cover for ignoring death itself.
And mass culture, with its laughter and sentimental tales of zombies, vampires, etc., aims to strip death, in the eyes of consumers, of its most terrifying quality – finality.
We say “he has gone”, “she has left this world” instead of saying: “he died.” And that’s the truth. “He”, “she” — personalities, inevitably and permanently disappear after death (indeed, personalities often perish even while the body still lives).
At the same time, most people who have died do not realize they are dead; their scattered minds continue chasing after illusory, disappearing goals, not even noticing how their being dissipates like mist, and it turns out that, by and large, they never truly lived, being only a fading muddy ripple on the surface of the ocean of being.
Death is not a “light at the end of the tunnel” nor an uplifting journey to a “new birth”. It is the decay and decomposition of the body; it is the decay and decomposition of the personality. It is the end of selfishness and the cessation of memory.
By and large, the only thing that matters are the currents, vectors, and impulses that the being set in motion during its incarnation; since, losing its anchor in the physical plane, the mind loses the ability to form new aspirations.
The heart stops. Acute pain quickly subsides. And the mind enters a state of sleep and visions — vague, each replacing the other — the process called disembodiment, or bardo.
With each minute the being loses itself, with its mind dispersing piece by piece, forgetting those it loved, forgetting its actions, forgetting life itself.
And here is the question — what remains? Soul? — only a pale, depersonalized residue is absorbed into the store of potential being. Individuality? — what did it consist of in life? Was it even clearly defined?
The mistake is in the very phrase “my past life”; since that very past life was not mine; it was not “I”, and it will not be “I” who will live on. “I” will end within a few weeks after the heart stops, unless, of course, I attach my dissolving mind to some anchor in this world.
And this is precisely the message of death. Death says that it is final. “The gates to new birth” do not open for the dead person — nothing opens for them anymore — but only for his elusive part — the individuality.
And where those gates will open depends on what currents the mind created in this incarnation, where it strove, and also to whom it was indebted. The Soul (in the strict sense — neshama) dissolves in the “higher lights” much faster than the shadow.
Fate, karma, orlög — these are all names for that vector, the general line of development that links individual lives in the chain of incarnations.
A faultless life is not only or even primarily a way to lighten the soul, but a means to give the mind those stable directions of development that will allow it to continue its ascent in the next life and, ultimately — to defeat death by moving beyond conditioned existence.
Conscious existence is not simply a way of “building strength”; it is also a method of managing the directions of one’s mind, and therefore not only of shaping one’s path in the current incarnation but of programming subsequent incarnations, and thus, again, a path to victory over death.
Death’s second lesson is that no personality, so long as it is confined to incarnation, the limits of time and space, can defeat death. All attempts to extend existence are futile since any duration of time is negligible compared with Eternity, and are merely prolonged flights from the inevitable. One would hardly call endless flight the fulfillment of one’s dreams. The only way to truly change the situation is to let go of personality and merge with individuality, to step out of oneself and enter Infinity.
Magic is simultaneously a battle on both fronts. On the one hand, the Magus strives for awareness and moral perfection and thereby creates stable currents of development. On the other hand, by accelerating his development, the Magus seeks to go beyond conditioned existence, to overcome the duality of births and deaths, and thus to finally defeat death.
And can one find a better counsellor in this matter than death?
Are you sure you will even be able to realize you have died?
And can you predict where your attachments and inclinations will draw your individuality?
Enmerkar,
what alternatives does a believing person have? Isn’t it enough before death to hand one’s soul to the Lord to save oneself?
p.s. It is very pleasant to see emotions among the academic tone – thank you 🙂
A recent article “The Freedom of the Magician” prompted me to cut the thread that had held me back for several years. However, the meaning of the movement has disappeared. And in this article, I found the answer to why I am actually doing all this.
How does the deprivation of personality differ from death?
Deprivation of personality is indeed death. This is what happens during initiations and mysteries (when conducted honestly), as well as in the process of enlightenment. However, if this death occurs when the consciousness still has a defined and incarnated conductor – the body – this consciousness has a chance to manifest itself in its “pure” form – an unconditioned individuality (or to merge into the ocean of universal consciousness, depending on the Path of development). The problem of personality is its limitation, as it manifests only a specific subset from the infinite potential of consciousness, generously mixing in foreign elements. And even a holistic and internally coherent personality is limited by its frames. A personality, stripped of this limitation – then expands into individuality, pure consciousness, for which all its potentialities are available. This is the death of the personality and the birth of individuality. This is enlightenment.
Thank you for such an extensive answer; now the picture becomes more whole. Here in the difference between personality and individuality, it’s unclear – if movement comes from the difference of potentials, realizing some opens others and if we do not see some of those available to us, then a certain bridge or guide is necessary to show them and/or a constant inner tone to not miss these potentials on the way. But at the same time, excessive jumps of Power for the personality can be destructive, and after a significant restructuring, a rollback always occurs, as you wrote about “strikes of light”; indeed, I think every person has at least once felt some kind of “hangover” after creative inspirations, etc. Thus, I do not understand – if a Mag steps by step expands their interactions, tries “on the tooth” this world gradually melting their philosopher’s stone, where will that abrupt jump in transition (harmlessly?) from personality to individuality come from? Maybe at some point, the consciousness/personality simply opens up another side of this infinite by definition world (like the third eye in Hinduism)?
The transition from a more limited state to a less limited one is never “harmless.” Any mystery, any initiation is always very painful, and in the case of strong disharmony from the dying personality, it can pose a threat to embodied existence as such. A person embarks on this quest when they understand that the way they live, they cannot live any longer, and they are ready to take the risk – to die or to be reborn. In the case of less extreme situations, when it comes to the “refining” of an already relatively prepared soul, such a risk is lower, but still – transformation is always painful; simply, the more force there is in consciousness, the less it suffers from this pain. Most often, initiation does not accompany actual enlightenment but merely an illumination, that is – it does not signify the transition from personality to individuality, but only from one, less effective personality to another – in which the individuality is manifested more, hence the effectiveness is higher. Nevertheless, the complete exit beyond conditioning remains the task of any development.
Thank you for the post. Someone rightly said that people are very interested in whether there is life after death, but nobody is interested in whether there is life before it.
Dreaming is the threshold of death.
The personality digs into dreams and establishes its false rules, forming yet another illusion.
A delusion of many astral travelers and dreamers.
On the other hand, through dreams one can reveal their hidden potentials and plans.
Thus, one can more productively (working not only during the day, but at night too) “approach” their individuality.
What do you, Enmerkar, feel about this?
Certainly, by developing awareness in dreaming, one can attempt to increase their effectiveness. However, the very state of dreaming is so difficult to control (not to form, but specifically to control) that consciousness there risks becoming excessively plastic and compliant (https://en.enmerkar.com/magus-way/chto-my-znaem-o-snovidenii). Therefore, I believe that either a very experienced guide is necessary to navigate the dangers of the unraveling of consciousness, or – conscious dreaming can be practiced by someone who has achieved significant control in “daytime” consciousness.
Yes, I agree with you.
In the absence of a guide, I follow a path of daily control.
But I am also slowly unraveling dreams, as an addition, not the main thing.
But I work more with borderline states, altered ones, not through substances and exhaustion, but through stages of falling asleep.
I consider reality as a special type of dream that happens every day with slight variations. However, I understand and interpret dreams, although I don’t want to control them. If anyone has anything to say about this, I would be grateful.
Is not the first step in realizing oneself after the death of the physical body realizing oneself during sleep?
With all the insignificance of efforts to stretch existence before the face of eternity, these attempts have one important property – they increase the degree of embodiment of the being.
Life is often viewed merely as a property – the opposite of death – a qualitative characteristic – alive or not alive. This is not the complete description of life. In fact, life resembles a river more than anything else. It can flow as a small stream at the bottom of the bed or as a full-flowing stream—occupying the FULL POTENTIAL MATRIX for this embodiment.
The basis of life is the body. Strengthening and developing the body increases the EMBODIMENT OF THE BODY, the perception of life force and, consequently, raises the potential of translating life force into the power of consciousness.
At the same time, the strengthening of the body indirectly affects the increase in the duration of existence.
Moreover, the realization of the MAGUS path largely depends on the length of life and the saturation with LIFE.
In this regard, recognizing the finiteness of the path itself and the INEVITABILITY OF DEATH, the actions of the magician aimed at prolonging the path, preserving the LIFE OF THE BODY, and enhancing its degree of EMBODIMENT are reasonable. They increase the Chance to ultimately defeat death—emerging from the cycle of embodiments.
At the same time, attempts to extend the existence of the personality, clinging to it, while thus excluding the possibility of merging with individuality are indeed insignificant.
Death, thus, has two forms – the destruction of the physical body and the deprivation of personality.
Death also isn’t a qualitative characteristic – it is the degree of emptiness in the bed of the river of life. Moreover, the emptiness is genuine—the absence of the flow of life is no different from the illusory fullness—shallow experience – the power of life consumed by distractions.
In fact – death is a mage’s mistake, although it is practically impossible to avoid it in the end.
I apologize, but I suspect that you do not fully grasp the essence of the author’s idea. The perception of a separate body, which you consider to be your own and which you develop based on urgent needs, is one aspect of personal self-identification. The dissolution of personality is akin to “cutting off the head from the body”, a situation where object and subject are no longer distinguishable. To be honest, this is actually the most ordinary death. This includes any initiation, no matter how esoteric it may appear, intended to strip a person of fears of the inevitable end of being through practices of social death, assuming a symbolic immersion into non-being. This promotes psychological resilience, and as a consequence, leads to more productive outcomes in further activities. In the USA, for instance, leading universities have special circles, like “Skull and Bones”, which are precisely designed to address this problem. Of course, there is no metaphysics.
There is an opinion that the ultimate solution to the problem of death is impossible because immortality itself is a kind of “deception of death,” and as a consequence – lawlessness, where personality is fixed from change and therefore its disintegration becomes impossible. The flip side of the coin is that evolution also becomes impossible as payment for the deception. As a result, there always comes a moment when immortality will cease.
It is also believed that immortality itself can be achieved by two paths, let’s call them the “path of love” and the “path of hate,” i.e. when the connection to individuality remains and when that connection is severed. In the first case, when incarnating, the personality can again advance along the Path, driven by the energies of individuality. For the latter option, death will be final and irreversible.
Ask the Elves about the secret of longevity. And magicians mainly die when they get tired of living.
Good day.
What is wrong with following one’s goals even after death if they are the essence of human life? Perhaps this is one of the paths for further development, rather than a race of dissipating consciousness for illusory goals?
We came from emptiness, and we will return to emptiness. Eternity already belongs to you. Do what you want.
Well, yes….
You just forgot to add…
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It’s not about what you do, but in what state you do it…
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It’s not about returning to Emptiness, but in what State you return to Emptiness…
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Do what you want, but don’t forget about the consequences, as every action has its natural (subject to the Laws of Nature) consequences…
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(This is not the punishment of Heaven, not heavenly manna…
Just when water pours on fire, the fire goes out; when the wind blows on water, the water dries; when an axe strikes a tree, the tree gets chopped…
You can “want-not want” all you want, but “wanting-not wanting” won’t help you here,
“want it or not,” but the water will extinguish the fire, the wind will stir the water… etc.)
It doesn’t matter in what state you return to emptiness. Emptiness is the annihilation of consciousness. Dissolution into nothingness. The same end of existence for both sinners and the righteous. And all other near-occult semantic speculations are opium, painkillers meant to dull the fear of death. A person believes in neither gods nor the world spirit, nor in magic. Faith is denial. Denial of death. Therefore, a person believes first and foremost in life after death; the other ideas they associate with this are just pleasant additions, a background pleasing to the eye.
You obviously haven’t watched the last battle of psychics with Sheps… 🙂
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What can I say for sure – there’s no dissolution occurring there at all.
Do not confuse Emptiness and Space. We are in Space.
What I noticed. The more I try to pursue perfection, the more traps become visible. There is a feeling that the world is doing nothing but trying to catch me on something, and it becomes increasingly sophisticated, and the farther it goes, the more difficult, but also more interesting it is to walk through this labyrinth. And there are still no glimpses of light in sight.
Thank you very much, dear Enmerkar, for your activity. I can’t stop admiring the filigree and at the same time understandable presentation of the material provided in this blog.
All discussions about death are idle speculation. No one has returned from there, reliable information is lacking. There is information from those who experienced clinical death, yet none of them reached the end; they were all returned from their path. Exiting the body – a tunnel – yes, but what the outcome is – no one knows for sure.
Vasya Pupkin, I’ll tell you this: reliably, no one will tell it because there are no terms and concepts to describe the Transition (death); for example, I have not returned, but I woke up…
What we are used to calling reality can be characterized as a special kind of dream that lasts, by human standards, years, with minor changes. That is, time is a degree of “viscosity of the change of reality.” Time is not “what,” rather it is “where”…
I remember in detail how I died, I was falling into a bottomless black well, felt like a balloon with a loose string from which life is rapidly flowing out…… this sensation of a lifeless, cottony body and total indifference, because there’s neither strength to resist nor think nor feel, life events rush by before my eyes as a mockery……………… when I woke up, I couldn’t understand where I was? – the experience of death was so acute that I couldn’t believe I was alive…………………………………………………………………………………………………….time, as a degree of viscosity of change of reality – this is not an explanation, Free Shooter, it is unclear what this “viscosity of reality?” ….. as for me, Shaman Serkina, who said that “time circles” – is close to reality…………… there are places (from personal experience), where time flows differently, (in terms of Yin – Yang) – in places where there is an excess of Yin – time slows down, where there is an excess of Yang – speeds up. Or a person can speed up or slow down time, but it’s still not “viscosity,” but “flow” – there are mountain rivers – fast ones, and there are – plain ones – slow. For trees, for example, the flow of time is much slower than for humans – trees help to slow down…… near high-voltage power lines – time flows extremely quickly, literally “rushes on horseback.” The unevenness of flow, discontinuity – characteristics of time – however, observers are necessary to fix this)))
“Degree of viscosity” – is a metaphor. This is a peculiar analogy with dreaming. In a dream, to get what you want, it is enough to intend to obtain it. And the result is executed (if one can express it this way) instantly. In Yavi, once expressing Intention, you have to wait, and not just wait, but hold the course, fighting off predatory forces. Again: the reality in Yavi never exactly coincides with Intention, unlike in a dream (Navi).
This is in theory, but in practice. Are you able to achieve what you desire in your dreams? And what exactly can you obtain there? – I mean the search for and inclusion of the right correspondences… Your comment actually inspired ideas from the fans of Don Raduga, who, following Mikhail himself, say something like this: why struggle online? – we would rather fight online in our dreams. The only question is learning to exit into lucid dreams in groups, which supposedly is facilitated by Raduga’s methods…………………the reality of dreams is indeed much more pliable, you are right.
The Mystery of Life and Death, as well as the origin of Life itself (from primordial Chaos?) remains the greatest mystery of the world. Debates on this topic have continued since ancient times. Few have managed, while alive, to comprehend this dimension of Navi. Many philosophers, theosophists, and occultists write interesting thoughts on this. Personally, I enjoyed, for example, the books of C. Leadbetter “The Astral Plane”, “Beyond Death”, “Life After Death”, where he advocates ideas similar to those of Enmerkar. A more complete picture of the world opens, but with this, Death truly signifies the end of human attachments and ego.
Every time I think about these matters, I recognize my limitations and imperfections. A person might have studied many languages during their life in Yavi, learned to play the piano, has extensive knowledge of the healing properties of plants, etc., and all of this apparently gets lost… and one must start anew. And what can be achieved even in 100 years? We do not remember our past incarnations…
Hastner. Sometimes when you start to learn everything about the most sacred and seemingly secret, life becomes somewhat bland. I think, if you knew your fate, living would not be so interesting. You do a great job of dreaming, and fantasies are foundational. That is what is created and then filled with energy thanks to you and realized.
Boys, why so sad? )))
Is there life on Mars? Is there no life on Mars?
The vision proposed here is part of the myth of Enmerkar. This myth is one of many possibilities. The truth is known only to the Gods (although that’s still a question).
The proposed myth provides descriptions that align with observable reality. And more importantly, it provides guidelines for moving through this very reality, through life. Death advises me not to accumulate knowledge and skills – many languages, piano, healing herbs, but to understand who you are, what you need in this life, and to move effectively towards that. It does not matter how much you know and can do, but who you are, where you are going, what you have overcome.
Vasya, why is the exit from the body a tunnel? Why not a labyrinth? I even had an endless crystalline lattice 🙂
While we accidentally learned with a friend to connect views on the issue – his wild desire and my already-I-don’t-know-what, calmness and just connection – reality melted and utterly unbelievable things were realized. Perhaps those thirsty might experiment with the flow of Life (there’s an article on that). The trick is that initially, it must be accepted unedited… and then learn and maybe much more. I haven’t checked this yet.
>>Basically, the only thing that matters – are the streams, vectors, impulses that the being has launched during its embodiment.
Enmerkar, where are these impulses and tendencies stored in the disembodied state? What is the name of the container that holds them?
And also, does consciousness transition into this container after disembodiment, and if so, can it make any restructuring or changes inside?
The vectors and impulses themselves are not stored; instead, they launch chains of cause-and-effect relationships that lead to certain conditions and tasks of subsequent embodiments. What is stored is the experience, in dry residue – in the form of realized potentials of the Monad, which thus gradually acquires the quality of reality.
Consciousness is not a substance; it is a property; hence, it does not transition anywhere. It is inherent in certain systems, but its individualization is always temporary.
Thank you. But now the number of questions has multiplied.
Yes.. well. That’s why, when I come to another world in the astral and do not disguise myself, consciousness is simply “asked to exit.” We don’t align a little
I do not know Don Rainbow, and O.S. is, for me, a side phenomenon. I have the ability to understand dreams (to interpret them), that is, to analyze the consequences of the dreamer’s actions in the Manifested World. My own dreams, I mainly observe, and I come to the conclusion that dreams involve a review of past life. Sometimes, I become aware of myself in a dream, precisely as a participant.
As a specific example, in response to your question about awareness and realization, I can provide a retelling of a recent dream: the action started in a school where I studied for my profession. We are talking with a girl from my youth, sharing impressions of life. I ask her for her address on the internet, and she is surprised, saying that I already know it… I look out the window and see the address on the glass. I focus and understand that I am transitioning… Then, there is a valley in the mountains (the Carpathians), a village styled after the 14th century, with gates and a roof that slopes downward, and a Serpent at the border of the Gates. I see all this from a bird’s eye view (associations with a helicopter view); I jump to the Gates, wielding a Fiery Spear with which I fight the Serpent. From the other side of the Gates, from another pillar, a monster appears with a dog’s head, similar to an Egyptian one… The Spear does not affect it; I retreat and realize that a hammer is needed. (The entire dream is seen by me from two perspectives: as an observer and as a participant.) The hammer (as I understand it, as an observer) appears immediately after I realize its necessity. As a participant, I know that it is Thor’s Hammer… Overall, I managed to push back that dog-headed demon.
In general, I will say that I feel closer to the model of “Transurfing…” by Vadim Zeland. This could be called Conscious Reality, which, according to the interpretation stated in my previous post, is merely a particular type of dream, or a Myth, or an Illusion, or one of the ways to describe the World. In general, this is what modern quantum mechanics is trying to study, and what the Magicians of all times and peoples have studied…
I thought about your response, Shooter… Sometimes there is a feeling of something in common with a person, even without seeing them, just by reading what they write…
I have been interpreting dreams for many years, both my own and those of others who ask for it. It is very interesting. In Jung’s concept, the Unconscious (according to Freud – the Subconscious) communicates messages to the Conscious mind in the tangible world of the ego through dreams and symbols. Symbols are signs. Not all dreams are symbolic. Gradually, one comes to understand which dream is a harbinger or a message, and which is not. You say that in dreams, there is a review of past life; my observations are different. Sometimes something is dreamed that a person has no idea about, has never encountered before, and after some time that something from the dream manifests in reality. The dreamer, who should have paid attention and drawn conclusions, has already missed the moment and acted incorrectly. My significant dreams always speak of the future – either the distant future or that which is about to come. I don’t remember dreams about the past, except for one. When I was about 13, in kindergarten, I found an ancient stone tablet in the documents in the principal’s office, on which my name was engraved, a name that I knew was mine. Only at the age of 27 did I finally understand what it meant (it’s not the name I am signed with here). It is connected to Egyptian mythology, even though I have never been interested in it and have not read anything about it. It’s interesting to think why my unconscious would take that name on the tablet as mine? Where does similar information come from? Recently, someone told me in a dream, “We will meet at Tarkhan-Kute,” even though I have never been there and heard that name probably last in college. Today, I encountered a person on the street who looked very much like the person from the dream. I was looking at the road I was walking on and saw his shoes, then his legs. I didn’t want to lift my eyes – I felt that the person was strong. It’s extremely rare to randomly meet a strong person on the street. I wanted to walk past, but he wished to look me in the eyes; his desire piqued my curiosity, so I lifted my head and saw how much he resembled the person from my dream. He looked at me as if he recognized me. It’s strange, and it feels like a dream, like a significant dream, even though it was happening in reality. “Reality, as a special kind of dream” – perhaps, yes 🙂
The subconscious and the unconscious are not the terms that should be used… Freud and Jung needed some way to designate the concept of a part of the human soul… It would be more accurate to say the insane and the non-rational. Consciousness is read in Russian as “joint knowledge.” That is, the body, with all its energy layers, is immersed (if one can put it this way) in a single information space, in the hypostasis of God, which in religion is the Father. And only the self-identification of a person determines the ability to use the information received from the Father through all of their energy centers (chakras).
I wrote that I have a “re-view” in my dreams, but it is not necessarily always the case, and it is not necessarily the same for everyone. Mostly, people see past events, as if living through what is to come in reality (the waking world). This occurs because the soul does not trust the mind to solve the tasks of incarnation. The mind is merely a set of programs, often cluttered with viruses. A mage is a kind of programmer of a quantum computer…
Regarding my Name, I know it as well; it is Slavic. It signifies the direction of the Path I am meant to take.
It’s a very interesting topic about dreams and about the Father. I immediately wondered why that is. Regarding the Great Spirit, I never had questions about gender—it, in any case, has some kind of description for consciousness in order to have contact. I thought about why it’s masculine; perhaps it’s because in this story we all are the receiving principle… but not subordinate) (that’s a reflection of my recent conversations with other people)).
I also know that the masculine and feminine versions of the Wild Hunt look different. I will think about that). As for dreams, it’s probably worth delving into. It is believed that by controlling the dream body, we learn to control what will happen after disembodiment, according to one of the versions.
As for the facts—my dreams can be purely business-oriented—I meet with people for work, visit those who are ill, and explain things that can’t be said in words. These are usually cross dreams, i.e., they are shared between me and other people.
Flying into the astral and having out-of-body experiences is quite easy for me, both in understanding and in practice. I just didn’t know why. There are also certain individuals I’ve encountered who dream something and wish to manifest themselves in that way, aside from their life in reality. And since people do this and it has quite real consequences, if I didn’t control myself in the dream—meaning I act exactly as I would in life—I wouldn’t really like their dreaming… In general, since this exists and knocks on the door, I think it’s worth mastering).
My dreams don’t have a review character; before delving into magic, they were more like a continuation of the events of the day. Now, I learn a lot in dreams—sometimes we initiate certain flows, or I grow into a field related to animals… There’s also no predictive aspect in them.
Thank you for the topic. While writing, I’ve realized that for me, this is quite a form of life. Therefore, it means I need to learn how to live it.
Is the content of the dream even important? It is often vague and quickly forgotten. Sleep is merely a rinsing of events.
But I noticed one thing – it is the feelings in the dream. Sometimes you are very happy in the dream, blissful, in a state of mutual love. And other times, there is some kind of tense obsession, anxiety.
Tell me, Nata. Are the events of your life that you do not remember important? What is more important, a dream you remember from childhood or a year of life that you cannot recall?
“…”If you want to live – know how to play” was advice given by the fool arcana. But who knew it would not be so easy when the nature of death is unveiled. Death needs nothing, death is not interested in anything, death knows everything. But you are not dead. “All life is a game”, but this does not mean that all who live play in life, because not playing means death….” Learning to live looking into the eyes of death… or……. (As I have said before – we kill ourselves, only everyone does it differently – it can be through the art of living. It is indivisible)… Or… to kill oneself in such a way that we continue to live. Forgive my expressions, but this is not from suicidal tendencies)) After all, death is not always death… and the 13th arcana is also a transformation arcana.
Life is a game, a game with death. It walks invisibly among us, And takes those whose time has struck On its invisible clocks. And we usually play the fool, Not understanding the meaning of the game. And those moments that the arrow marks We spend…. Not on what we came for.(c)
Card 13: Death
Tired of the spinning wheel of life, I sank to the ground and closed my eyes. But it seemed to me that the wheel still spun before me, and four winged beings sat on clouds, reading their books.
And suddenly, opening my eyes, I saw a gigantic rider on a white horse, dressed in black armor and a black helmet with a black plume.
From beneath the helmet gazed the skull of a skeleton. In one bony hand, it held a large, billowing black banner, and in the other – black reins adorned with a skull and crossed bones.
And wherever the white horse passed, there came night and death, flowers withered, leaves fell, the earth was covered with a white shroud, graves appeared, and towers, cities, palaces collapsed.
Kings in all the splendor of their glory and power; beautiful women, loving and beloved; high priests, vested with authority from God; innocent children – all of them, upon the approach of the white horse, fell to their knees in terror, extending their hands in despair and yearning, fell – and rose no more.
In the distance, beyond two towers, the sun was setting.
The chill of death overcame me. I felt as if the heavy hooves of the horse were stepping on my chest, and the world was falling into an abyss.
But suddenly, something familiar, just seen and heard, seemed to echo in the measured steps of the horse. For a moment – and I heard in its steps the movement of the Wheel of Life.
It was as if a revelation had come upon me – and looking after the receding Rider and at the setting sun, I understood that the path of Life consists of the steps of the Horse of Death.
As it sets on one side, the sun rises on the other.
Each moment of its motion is a sunset at one point and a sunrise at another.
I realized that it rises while setting, and sets while rising – and that life, being born, dies, and dying, is reborn.
“Yes!” said the Voice. “You think that the sun has only one purpose: to set and to rise. Does the sun know anything about the earth and people, about sunset and sunrise? It goes its way, on its orbit, around an unknown center. Life, death, sunrise, sunset – do you not know that all of this is the thoughts, dreams, and fears of the Madman (card 0: The Fool)?”
_ P.Uspensky “Symbolism of Tarot”
Once, I lived in a small village near the forest, almost on the outskirts, with only one more house beyond mine. An old woman lived there, very old. She was over eighty, maybe even more. She had relatives who were alcoholics; they didn’t help her at all, only waited for her to die so they could sell her house. One day, a motorcyclist hit the old woman on the road, breaking both of her legs. People dragged her into the house and left her there. Everyone thought she wouldn’t last long. After about a month and a half or two, no one had brought her even a glass of water, no one visited her or helped her; they didn’t take her to the hospital… I thought she must have died a long time ago. Then, I saw the old woman wheeling her cart to the market and walking on both legs herself… After all, she needed to eat something, so off she went to the market… Her relatives were upset that she had recovered… but they couldn’t kill her… So death did not want to take the old woman away, even though she lived a very difficult life.
Another grandmother visited me in a different city; she was elderly but healthy and didn’t seem to complain about anything; everything was fine with her. But one day she shared her secret with me—that a little girl, a relative who had died many years ago, came to visit her. The girl would talk to her and creak the door and floorboards in the house. The girl visited her for several months, and I could never understand what that meant… but one day, the woman didn’t come to see me—she died. Quietly, peacefully, without pain or suffering. She lay down and passed away. And the girl was actually her death…
My third acquaintance was quite old, 92 years old, and she also visited me often, telling me stories about life. One day, a big night moth flew into the room even though she came during the day. The moth flew around and then disappeared somewhere… Later, I moved to another city, and after some time, I had a dream. This grandmother came to me in my dream through a Ferryman, to say goodbye… and later, people told me she had died…
Death is as multifaceted as Life.