Running from One’s Shadow?

The process of development of awareness in an embodied being is accompanied by a transformation of the channels of consciousness, with the emergence in ‘ensouled’ bodies of a special repository of valuable experience – soul.

At the same time, this repository includes two components – the «higher soul» – neshama, which collects positive experiences, harmonious situations, correct solutions to problems, everything that at the end of an incarnation flows into the Monad’s common treasury as a foundation for further development, and the «shadow», which bears the imprints of unfinished affairs, unpaid debts – everything the developing mind must resolve later.

The ratio of the «light» soul to the «shadow» determines the overall weight of the soul, and thus to a large extent the character of postmortem processes.

However, during an incarnation the soul is one, and the «light» and «shadow» components can only be distinguished in it rather conventionally.

Nevertheless, it is precisely the shadow part of the mind that serves as the dwelling of the Lamassu, and therefore it is the shadow that is most susceptible to their influence.

Unable to influence the mind directly, the Parasite of the mind operates through the shadow, since its enlargement signifies an expansion of its power.

The Parasite surrounds the shadow with many protective barriers and creates the impression that it alone is the basis of the personality.

A personality formed under the Parasite’s pressure becomes accustomed to regarding the shadow as an integral part of itself, and the mind, setting out on the path of development, often mistakes the shadow for the very enemy it must fight.

Accordingly, two common groups of errors that reduce the Way’s effectiveness are often encountered.

Very often the mind, sheltered under the cover of the shadow, runs away from itself, from its development, from the Way and the light. As soon as light begins to enter the mind more deeply than usual, the shadow retreats, the Lamassu begin to worry, and the mind, accustomed to identifying itself with a fragmented personality, also begins to resist development.

Leaving the Way, losing Magic, unfortunately, is a common way to betray oneself and one’s soul to the Parasite and the shadow.

It is clear that such a strategy leads only to increased suffering, since it contradicts the very logic of development, which is inevitable in any case; yet paradoxically very often a being prefers to suffer for betraying itself and its Way rather than inflict suffering on the shadow and the Parasite.

The second losing strategy is denying the shadow.

The mind, concentrating on power and the light aspect, simply ignores the shadow, claiming it is pure light in which there is no place for any shadows.

However, dismissing the problem is never an effective way to solve it, though it is found everywhere. The shadow whose existence is ignored does not go away; on the contrary, it becomes even stronger, because the brighter the light, the denser the darkness, and thus the mind, blinded by its own radiance, gives the shadow an almost uncontrolled presence.

For the Magus, shadow and darkness are well-defined and carefully studied domains.

The Magus under no circumstances identifies himself with the shadow, but neither does he turn away from it.

The Magus does not flee from himself or his enemies; he fights for his self-identity and his freedom.

The Magus faces his enemies and dangers; he strives to dismantle the shadow, shedding light on old mistakes and debts, taking responsibility for both his victories and his defeats.

It takes a great deal of courage to face one’s shadow, not to close one’s eyes in disgust, but also not to indulge in overcompensation, and — step by step, drop by drop — to regain power over one’s mind, achieve wholeness and step into infinity. But there is still no other Way. The alternative — eternal existence as mere fodder — can hardly be taken seriously.