Exiles of Love. Lilith and Homosexuality
Love, as the highest and greatest value, a remembrance, a decisive memory, of the state of primordial cosmic unity in the depths of the Great Spirit, is, of course, subject to the bitterest assaults by various destructive forces and agents.
We have already spoken that the greatest evil, the Mother of all demons, is born precisely as a destructor of the state of universal love, turning a free and mutually complementary union into a desire to possess, to enslave, to exploit others’ resources.
All too often a person who, intuitively or with awareness, seeks in love a Way to find themselves, runs into Lilith’s influence, and discovers that the vast majority of relationships people call “love” are in fact mutual consumption and demonization, and instead of Power and Freedom, bring suffering and weakness.
Depending on their strength and level of awareness, a person who discovers this state, and especially a Magus, can either accept it and enter the global system of mutual consumption or engage in a more or less overt confrontation with the Dark Mother in an effort to attain Pleromic harmony.
In very rare cases the struggle is sometimes successful, and the magus manages to find and build genuinely harmonious relations in love.
Far more often the human being capitulates before Lilith’s all-subduing power, and either, admitting defeat, becomes disillusioned with love, declaring it unattainable or illusory, or, refusing to accept that defeat, perishes in the struggle.
If a person or a Magus, for whatever reason, cannot overcome Lilith but also refuses to acknowledge defeat and to adopt the mode of existence she imposes, they face the stern curse of the Dark Mother.
Just as the Scythian enarei, who offended Aphrodite by defiling her temple, were punished with the curse of foresight and effeminacy, a being (regardless of whether they are a man or a woman in their present incarnation) who refuses to acknowledge Lilith’s power falls under the sway of her curse.
Upon reincarnation, a mind cursed by Lilith falls into gender captivity, deprived of the possibility of attaining the fullness of love. This can manifest in various karmic, congenital burdens, for example — same-sex attraction.
Note that it is one thing when a person engages in (or even prefers) sexual contact with people of their own sex, and quite another when they internally reject the possibility of energetic union (which, in the broad sense, sex essentially is) with people of the opposite sex.
After all, whom a person sleeps with is their own business, and, like any action, it can be judged only by the degree of awareness behind it. We will not delve into that question here; we will merely note that many great Masters and Magi experimented widely with their sexuality, expanding the limits of possibilities.
But an entirely different situation arises when a person is internally unbalanced, when they simply cannot establish full energetic contact with the opposite sex. This state is indeed a severe curse not only because such a person suffers from society’s rejection, but often also from self-rejection.
Magical schools take very different attitudes toward same-sex attraction, yet even the most tolerant of them (for example, Wicca and Thelema) still recognize certain energetic limitations in gays and lesbians.
At the same time, it is clear that the restrictions on development imposed by such a karmic burden are by no means absolute.
The behavioral patterns adopted by such people most often reduce to either a sense of inner inferiority, suffering and even attempts at “re-education” or suicide, or to “self-acceptance” and actions taken on that basis. Such actions often take the form of a compensatory protest: recklessness and chaotic behavior. Very rarely does the understanding arise that, like any other karmic burden, same-sex attraction can be carried honorably.
Striving for development and expanded awareness, the person carrying such a burden can either turn to asceticism, suppressing manifestations, or attempt to harmonize them within themselves.
Since Magic by its very nature is the Way of seeking inner harmony, from its point of view, the most effective course for a person who faces within themselves the impossibility of energetic union with the opposite sex will not be asceticism, not licentiousness and certainly not attempts at “re-education,” but the striving for love in the form available to them. Lilith seeks to render love inaccessible to such a person — and therefore the person must overcome her, despite all her stratagems. Whatever prudish critics may say, love knows no restrictions, and for people of the same sex, it is no less possible than for anyone else. And, as in all other cases of limitation, it is precisely love that provides the victorious way out of a difficult situation, and it is love that can lead to the overcoming of all obstacles on the Way.
“Moreover, such actions are often a protest compensation in the form of reckless and chaotic life.” – A vivid example of such hypercompensation can be gay parades and other forms of homosexual kitsch. Also, when gays start shouting that they are superior to other people, that those who are not gay are scum, etc. But to their credit, many of them are far from talentless. Although – maybe not more gifted than heterosexuals. Their feeling of being a ‘white crow’ prompts them to more effectively realize their potential – the desire to prove that you are no worse than other people is a strong enough motivation. Therefore, where a heterosexual will dwell in idle laziness from the awareness that they are doing well and are no worse than others, a gay person will constantly strive to prove that they are no worse than the rest of humanity, ultimately achieving success in some field (for example, as an actor, artist, sculptor, musician, poet, etc.)
And how, indeed, to defeat this very Lilith?
to love
I have two questions:
1) Does Lilith’s curse manifest only in homosexuality or can it also appear in other sexual deviations, such as sadomasochistic tendencies?
2) The search for harmonious relationships in love is accompanied by a tremendous number of obstacles, where the acceptance of one’s tendencies is just the first step. Starting from the difficulties of finding a partner with energetic matching and ending with the fact that even such a partner may simply not reciprocate for various reasons. All this stretches this quest over decades, and it may not be realized in one life. And during all this time, there are three options for action:
1. to live an ascetic life in this regard (but it takes an enormous amount of energy to suppress desires, so there is a shortage for development and useful activities);
2. to briefly enter imperfect relationships of mutual consumption, understanding that this is an illusion and controlling as much as possible to avoid getting completely stuck;
3. to completely transfer these desires into the Dream Space (lucid dreams) and realize them there for a time.
Which of these options would be more flawless?
IMHO, I think not only in homosexuality. It may, for example, manifest as a defect that repels the opposite sex (horse teeth, I know, or giant schnauzer). It may simply be that finding someone does not work out (which will lead to frustrations). One can get stuck in such relationships where you will be a doormat, and at the same time, there will be no possibility to end these relationships. And so on, and so forth. Regarding asceticism – I do not think it is an effective path (the reasons you have already mentioned). As for the third option – that is exactly what Lilith expects from you 🙂 According to Jewish demonology, she is a succubus. Of course, what strategy to choose is up to you. But if you choose the second one, then you should choose the one out of all possible options where mutual consumption will at least be minimized as much as you can manage.
I would like to add a bit regarding ‘horse teeth and schnauzers’. If we remember the fairy tale ‘Beauty and the Beast’, its essence is that the girl loved this guy even in the guise of a beast. This is what is called ‘unconditional love’ in English. This is the love that Enmerkar wrote about. It is when you are ready to love this person ‘in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty’, in any form, with their beloved teeth and nose. But for such love one must mature. It will only come when you are ready to accept it. The vessel fills with Light when it is ready to be filled. However, as for myself, I am not sure that I am ready for unconditional love. One must work a lot on oneself. Thank you, Enmerkar, as always.
I am deeply convinced that true harmony in relationships is based not on ‘high development’ and not even on maturity, but on, how should I put it, ‘harmony of deficiencies’. This is when the shortcomings of another person even evoke some additional attraction to them. Your shortcomings are also interesting to them. Personally, I would not want to live with an ‘ideal being’. It is much more interesting to develop together, helping each other ‘to modify his/her curves into original creative solutions’. Another matter is when the ‘features of individuality’ evoke not interest but, on the contrary, repulsion and dislike. Therefore, in my opinion, for harmony in relationships, it is even more important not to have a bunch of merits in each other, but for the shortcomings to ‘fit together like puzzles’. Especially since it is very debatable what to consider shortcomings… Perhaps someone likes ‘schnauzers’ 🙂
To some extent, this is true – they say that people who are pleasant in every way have many shortcomings. And without them, they become unbearable. But there are certain things that will cause rejection in any case – the spirit of possession, the spirit of control, the desire to manipulate, to conduct various psychological games, and perhaps something else. With this, I think, it is impossible to reconcile. If ‘every man and every woman is a star’, then the destructive scenario of relationships is when a pair becomes ‘black hole – white dwarf’. When one partner merely absorbs the light of the other, and the other shines with a dim light. Dim, because their light is absorbed by the black hole. Of course, someone A can be so in love with B that they don’t notice how unhealthy they are, being a white dwarf. But being blinded is not good. Blinded = loss of awareness. However, there is also this point – regarding the earlier question of which strategic option is more flawless. I believe, after all, that the second is better. Of course, theoretically you will meet ‘your other half’ when you find completeness yourself. And for that you need a long time; truly, perhaps one incarnation may not be enough for that. But on the other hand, the relationships that arise at this moment, here and now, reflect you yourself. How you are, so are the relationships. And if you have a partner, then she is in any case your (relative) ‘half’. Therefore, in this case, the task is not to look far ahead, but to be as flawless as possible in what exists here and now, perceiving the problems that currently exist as a challenge and a test. Another matter is that it is not always immediately and unequivocally clear what action will be flawless at the moment – to seek and overcome your uncorrected traits, to look for a patch that will fix the glitches in the relationships, or to give your ‘half’ a good kick, like a mangy and scabby dog, to roll away and forget the road to you.)
Interesting version, Max. Don’t you think that ‘shortcomings’ are the truthfulness (authenticity) of a person? Moreover, the concepts of ‘merits-shortcomings’, or rather their images, are invented (imposed). Love is the meeting of the energies of kindred souls.
Although the question isn’t addressed to me – I put in my 5 kopecks. On the one hand, as Einstein said, everything is relative. There are indeed shortcomings that have a relative nature. From the perspective of a rocker-metalhead (or punk), having a fondness for Zhanna Friske or Filip Kirkorov might be perceived as a shortcoming. From the standpoint of a pagan, being overly positive towards Christianity would appear as a shortcoming. And from the perspective of a hardened Orthodox, not wanting to shoot all homosexuals would look like a shortcoming. But there are certain things that will appear as shortcomings from any perspective – for example, if a person believes that there are only two opinions ‘my way and the wrong way’, or if they believe that everyone else is a… and they are D’Artagnan. In the end, there exists a terribly ugly shortcoming that is a whole complex of traits – the ‘boor’. Of course, the boor with another boor can form harmony. But only with a similar one. But it will be such harmony as the swamp does with frogs and hydrogen sulfide vapors (the swamp itself is quite a harmonious ecosystem). The shortcomings that will be unbearable in any case can also be attributed to the fact that a person is either a petty tyrant or a manipulator.
The spirit of possession is Lilith (although some tend to romanticize and deklippotize this image). And who then is the spirit of control (also a destructor under the guise of love)? Gaap?
To Frater_J.
You are absolutely right in starting to refer to ‘shortcomings that will cause rejection in any case’ as spirits. In my opinion, very often this is indeed the result of iburs and even dibbukim. That is, these are no longer shortcomings that can and should serve as inductors for development. This is already something that must be removed according to their nature.
About the approach – first ‘achieve completeness’, and then everything will be. I wrote that I do not entirely agree with such an approach; I am closer to what Enmerkar described, for example, here: https://en.enmerkar.com/magus-way/true-desire
Of course, to a considerable degree we have what reflects us, including relationships. But if that were all, then the New Age approach would work 100% – simply change your mindset, make it positive, and the world will instantly become different. In reality, there is a sea of obstacles caused by both internal and external predators and parasites, as well as entities like archons. And speaking of the duration of the quest, I was referring to the duration of the struggle with them. By the way, this cannot be separated from the development of awareness, since development occurs in battles, not somewhere else. Therefore, the approach can be rephrased as – when you win, then you will receive a reward. This is theoretically true and obvious but indeed leads the gaze away from ‘here and now’. I wanted to consider the ‘intermediate period’, the period of struggle, which can last a very long time. And here everything is, oh, so not obvious…
To Numen
I think you have understood my point correctly, but you interpret it, of course, from your perspective.
To Lena Rider
I am in no way criticizing your comment; interesting topics were raised, which I am contemplating. Now, regarding the concept of ‘unconditional love’. Unconditional Love (for example, agape in Greek) is, so to speak, ‘God’s Love’, Divine Love, it is impartial and applies to anyone and everyone, by definition. It transcends all topics and is not specifically connected to any of them, as that would violate its boundlessness. The love between partners in the aspect of romantic relationships (I don’t know what term to use) is, by definition, always conditional. Because you choose this partner, and they choose you. Wherever there is choice, there are always conditions that defined it! Another matter is that they are not always consciously recognized. You somehow singled out this partner from the rest. ‘Unconditional’ means with anyone at all. If you loved someone specific, then you distinguished this person for something. Choice always has reasons; however, analyzing them means breaking the romance. Love at first sight is a choice made at first sight. Therefore, if you start to break down this process into components, it is always possible to find reasons for differentiation, theoretically at least, but this will ruin the romance, although it might add to the awareness.
The whole question is in the origin of these conditions, their authenticity in terms of individuality. And even more so, the question is: will two people with sets of ‘individual features’ (‘merits’, ‘shortcomings’, etc.) that fit together like puzzles be allowed to unite? After all, the effect of pleroma would occur. What Force will exist in this? Of course, such a phenomenon will be hindered…
It’s not all that simple. At first glance, yes, perfect harmony of merits/shortcomings is good and represents the effect of Pleroma. And, it would seem, such relationships would be hindered by predators and archons. But there is one ‘but’. Harmony is not always effective. One must not forget about astrological factors. If partner A’s natal chart has harmonious aspects to partner B’s chart (specifically, if there are enough trines), the relationship will indeed look harmonious. And the shortcomings of the partner will be perceived rather positively, and all sharp angles will be smoothed out. Roughly speaking, it might be that everything will be forgiven – the red nose after work, fishing with friends on the anniversary of joint life, and even condoms in the pocket 🙂 You will also forgive a lot – over-salted soup, and your salary spent on shopping, and such. However, harmony can be treacherous. It’s akin to drifting peacefully in a boat down a river with calm, gentle currents. But you won’t notice how you drift to where frogs croak and the air is filled with the smell of hydrogen sulfide. In other words, harmony can lead to stagnation. And the most treacherous part of this is that you will not notice this stagnation. You will not desire to do something, to change anything, to work on yourself. ‘Why? I’m fine as is!’ In my opinion, such a situation is highly beneficial to predators and archons.
By the way, this is a good question. I would very much like Enmerkar to clarify it. Namely – how does the further development of consciousness occur in the Pleroma?
The question is indeed very interesting. With your permission, I will add my thoughts based on my own experience.
Maxim, I understand that by ‘plerooma’ you mean the fullness of relationships between partners.
The consciousness of an individual person in the pleroma gets more opportunities for development, as there are no obstacles to energy and information exchange between partners, and the amount of experience gained theoretically doubles.
It seems to me that the best option is a mutual overt movement along the path. However, this option requires a joint awareness of common desires and goals, as well as readiness to realize these desires together, which assumes a sufficient level of development of each partner.
Another option is possible: harmonization at a metaphysical level with partial harmonization at the physical level, since there are obstacles for complete harmonization at the physical level. In this case, each partner moves their own way, and periodically the partners recheck and adjust the puzzle pieces. And it seems to me that the second option ultimately strives to become the first.
Now about harmony.
When feeling the fullness, there is a desire to share this fullness with everything around. I assume that this may lead to the formation of new social structures, as the latter always form around sources of energy. And then there will be much more.
In my view, harmony can lead to stagnation when it lacks external direction, a direction towards the transformation of the surrounding world.
Of course, it is quite difficult to create harmony itself, let alone direct it outward.
If you still fail to direct it outward, then you need sufficient intuition to foresee stagnation, and ideally set a new vector of movement before it occurs.
Regarding the last part of my previous comment. I thought that I might be accused of mixing the terms ‘condition’ and ’cause’. So ‘I love you because’ is a cause, while ‘I will love you only if’ is a condition. Here I agree that I indeed spoke of the absence of causeless love in the aspect discussed and not unconditional love. But the context was about how the beauty fell in love with the beast. Here the question is not of conditions but of causes. That is, there were reasons why she loved him. This topic needs more contemplation.
By the phrase ‘unconditional love’, I mean a situation where the size of love for another person exceeds the size of one’s own egoism. Causes or conditions are just terminology. When I wrote my previous comment, I was thinking of my neighbors. An elderly couple, forty years together. He looks about 60, while you could give her all of 80 (she looks that bad). She has cancer. But he still loves her. He cares for her so warmly and touchingly, takes her out in a wheelchair, plants flowers for her in the flowerbed, and speaks of her as the best woman in the world. I thought such things only happen in fairy tales or movies. Perhaps these are some of the few people over whom Lilith has no power. Although it is quite possible that they also went through a period of ‘fishing, shopping, mutual nit-picking, and dirty socks’. The question is what remains in the ‘dry residue’.
I have met people who ‘sleep’ with their opposite-gender dogs. Can this be seen as Lilith’s curse?
(I am not talking about animal violence, those are other people)
But more often they block themselves off from people altogether, regardless of their orientation.
For others, after the death of their pet, such behavior is no longer observed.
It is unlikely that such love can be complete, although there are always exceptions.
Long ago, I came across a book by Yu. Ryurikov titled “Three Attractions”, in which Spirit, Soul, and Body are presented as carriers and sources of Love. The original world unity of the Great Spirit fits well into this triadic scheme. Why not mention that the disunity of these components in the merging of the Great principles – feminine and masculine – cannot give Harmony and Love in principle, simply because it leads to other incarnations of attractions, whatever they may be called, to whatever types of social attachment they may be equated. Moreover, speaking about the awareness of personal attractions and feelings, why not emphasize that a person, albeit the highest, is still an animal, and far from always does the victory in his personality belong to the spirit. However, it is often the animal nature that triumphs in the mass, the very consumption of another for the satisfaction of one’s own lustful desires. And it turns out that it is precisely they who are devoted to Lilith, as the embodiment of lust. She defeated them, not cursed them. The degree of self-awareness and awareness of one’s actions and attractions is the very criterion of the direction of personality and its potential for harmonious embodiment both in the present and in the future. Those who are aware of themselves in parades of pink-blue do not participate; this is not a public (let alone political) but an individual, purely personal theme. As you have presented it.