Struggle with Loved Ones
As soon as the Wayfarer pursuing Power begins to track how much Power he expends and where, he notices that the lion’s share of that expenditure is spent struggling with those who, it would seem, not only should not obstruct the Way but ought to offer complete assistance — struggling with those close to him.
Indeed, friends and loved ones, spouses and children — all demand attention, all demand Power, and, as if to spite him, all want exactly the opposite of what the Wayfarer wants.
Despite its seeming absurdity, this struggle becomes a central problem at one of the stages of the Way. The possible developments are varied. Many people sever ties with their families, leave home, and become hermits. Others — on the contrary — abandon the Way for the sake of family or friends.
Both of these outcomes signify defeat.
Since Power is the realization of one’s potential, it is clear that incarnation under certain conditions is necessary to accomplish certain tasks. This means that once a being has been born into a particular family or formed relationships with certain people, they cannot simply be abandoned. The only exceptions are clear mistakes — when “friends” turn out not to be friends at all, and “loved ones” are complete strangers. In that case, of course, leaving is not just possible but necessary.
But it also happens that everything appears normal — friends are close, loved ones are loving. And yet the struggle still arises. Obviously this struggle is instigated by Parasites of Consciousness. It is they who set against one another those easiest to turn against each other — interdependent people. Since people who have (even partially) joined their energies effectively occupy a single energetic niche, the disturbance that arises in one of them is transmitted to the others. As soon as one of them begins to overcome the fetters of the Parasite of mind, neighboring Parasites become alarmed and do everything they can to prevent Power from rising nearby.
But at the same time, leaving means forgoing the opportunity inherent in the situation.
The only way to preserve Power and derive benefit from such a state of affairs is to cease the struggle.
For the Magus, with his warrior spirit, this decision is by no means trivial. Refusing to fight is perceived as weakness, “why are they foisting themselves on me?“. And yet, it is the only path to victory. The Magus’s struggle must be directed, above all, toward victory over his own Parasite of mind (although it cannot be defeated). Shifting attention to neighboring Parasites is ineffective, since the Parasite retreats only when confronted by its host.
Thus, at a certain stage of the Way, the Magus must stop struggling with the people around him, give them the opportunity to follow their own Way, supporting and helping when necessary. Moreover, such help must never be given against a person’s will (unless the relationship is “Master-Student”; in that case the Master often has to fight for the Student against his own will). Ceasing such struggle may appear an act of weakness, but in fact this “weakness” is the Way to Power.
Very interesting topic! Are you completely sure that a sort of hermitage as a way to solve the problem (preserving energy) necessarily means defeat?
Nothing in the world is ‘necessarily’ so. Surely there are those for whom such a path will bring Strength. But I am talking about the Path of Magic and compatibility/incompatibility with it, not all existing possibilities.
It’s very contradictory… After all, if you don’t fight, you’ll have to stupidly fulfill all the whims and desires of your loved ones, and their demands for care and attention will only grow. There should be some boundaries, distance, or a certain degree of detachment so that external struggle does not lead to internal conflict. What I mean is that a simple refusal will not solve much. I am very interested in reading you; this information is like a beacon, a direction to move, but the path itself is hidden… Thank you, En!
Thank you for the high praise. Not fighting does not mean ‘stupidly fulfilling.’ Not fighting does not mean submitting; it simply means not losing strength in response to their requests, not showing aggression, not straying from your Path.
That’s exactly what I wrote about… What is needed? Detachment, distance, setting… After all, this is the ‘main secret of the red army’:)… Or maybe it’s hunting for oneself? Tracking the onset of emotion. How technically does this happen? How to maintain strength when interacting with loved ones, where to find that golden key to the magic door behind which one can reliably hide from the attack of their subconscious?
Detachment would be too simple. I would call it ‘interested detachment.’ A magician should not be ‘indifferent’ to what happens to those with whom they choose to link their life, but at the same time, their weaknesses should not lead to their weakening. Of course, this is an element of hunting for oneself, for one’s weaknesses. Certainly, it is necessary to track those ‘weak points’ of yours that, when pressed, cause your loved ones to weaken you. But it is also important to clearly separate the closest person from their actions dictated by Others.
You are correct))) Sometimes you have to fight to define a boundary that loved ones should not cross. After that, your advice is very useful… Thank you for your responses, En 🙂
Loved ones are called loved ones precisely because there are no boundaries for them. The issue is precisely in the reaction to such a crossing.
But how should one act in the case described below?
A child was born into a family where the parents did not take care of him at all, did not pay attention to him, and another person was responsible for his upbringing. Then this person died, and the child grew up, but now he has to live with parents who feel like strangers to him. However, they demand attention from him, justifying it as ‘you owe us, we brought you into this world.’
It depends on what the mentioned child feels – whether he feels these people are close to him or not.
Thank you for illuminating this topic. Relatives and close people indeed create not only the biggest problems, but also surprisingly regular ones. And besides ‘detachment’, it would also be good to involve ‘mind’ because we can create problems for ourselves through the same relatives. It is still wonderful to step out of a particularly close circle and look at the situation from the outside, otherwise many aspects are not visible from the inside.
Once again, thank you for the post 🙂
The art of magicians lies in being apart from everything and being unnoticed. The most important aspect of a magician’s art is never to waste their power unnecessarily. The world of humans rises and falls, and people rise and fall with their world. But magicians have nothing to follow them in their rises and falls. (C) K.K.
Hello, esteemed Enmerkar. Just following one’s path, is that a renunciation of struggle? You simply write that leaving home would not be the best solution. But it is necessary to continue the journey. For example, there is a girl living with her mother. But the mother, as is often the case, wants her to follow a completely different path than the girl desires. Moreover, she is quite fanatic (the mother) and believes she alone knows how to guide her daughter correctly, while the daughter is still young and doesn’t know life. So what would be the defeat in this situation? I understand that she just needs to go where she wants, without arguing with her mother (although the mother will undoubtedly make a fuss and, due to her fanaticism, do everything to bring her daughter back onto the ‘true’ path). Is this a renunciation of struggle? After all, sooner or later everything will settle down and it will be possible to restore relations with her mother, exactly when she stops pounding her thoughts into her daughter’s head.
Yes, you just need to follow your Path, without yielding to provocations.